Relationship - Intimacy - New DNA

To form a relationship is like finding a New DNA and work together for that to grow.  Between man and woman, it is about sharing time and space to create new meaning in life, matching a unique character of each.  It is a creative process.  So, as in any living beings, in stalemate, the meaning of relationship will wither away.  Although I will discuss this between man and woman, the basic idea applies to any relationship, e.g., group, organization, nation. planet..

Once this “new DNA” potential is checked from various angles, and made sense to explore such potential between two, new relationship is formed.  But as situation changes, and each person’s preferences change due to many factors (impermanence), confirming the meaning of New DNA is a must if it has any reason for existence (or call it the strategic importance) For a genuine relationship, New DNA is to be based on the True Self* - not ego.  There is no room for complacency.  Complacency is lack of awareness.  And, the lack of awareness waits for chaos to take over, sabotaging the foundation of relationship.

Michelangelo: Sistine Chapel (part)

If we can confirm the reasons of existence in creating a new DNA, the energy will be found to explore its potential as if a new tree is to grow from a seed.   Two entities then become one and share the experience while each contributes his/her uniqueness for the growth.  The shape of this new tree may change due to the situation, but the root, the foundation has to be solid for this tree to grow and express its potential.  The root is like finding the energy source, will, or passion.

So, the origin of all relationship is for previously separated entities to become one and confirm their meaning - reason of being.  This is a spiritual experience as realized in making love, or experiencing the oneness at whatever the setting is.  It is the joy, the miracle, the indescribable.  Without intimacy to melt into one, and exchange unique potentials, nothing will grow.  (Again, the same is true to any relationship as this is the core of our Life’s process.)

Once we come to realize such intimacy, the free-er exchange of energy is made possible, two people share the miracle; two becoming one, and we find there "absolute affirmation" - the law of universe.  This is a spiritual experience as if to find the core of our being in that sacred state where the boundary vanishes.  This represents connection to the primary - law and we become one with law for new creation to take place from within.  This is the eternal beginning of life; the core of all growth of living beings.  

So what does this mean for us, specifically?

We exist to keep creating anew, and this is life. If we do not create ourselves anew physically, e.g., new cells, new blood, digestion of food, immune system, mentally (meaning), physically, and spiritually (following the law), we cannot exist.  Our journey in life is connected to this.  In my case, I thrive on exploration, challenging something always new.  As Picasso said, as soon as painting is done, painter is gone.  Or what’s the point of doing the same thing once you know it?...

Here are more of his quote:
- Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.  
- He can who thinks he can, and he can't who thinks he can't. This is an inexorable, indisputable law.
-  Love is the greatest refreshment in life.
-  Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.
-  To finish a work? To finish a picture? What nonsense! To finish it means to be through with it, to kill it, to rid it of its soul, to give it its final blow the coup de grace for the painter as well as for the picture.
-  You have to have an idea of what you are going to do, but it should be a vague idea.


* True self: Most importantly (if I may say so), we cannot forget the "primary" relationship. That is the relationship with true self, heart, God (if you like to use that term), law, the infinite. Without that, nothing in our behavior is genuine in its true sense.

Over the Hurdles, and Realize our Dream...

Over years, there are many words that brought inspiration and spirit of conviction to me.  They include,

Imagination is power -  Einstein

If you can imagine, you can make it - Walt Disney

What is desirable and right is not impossible - Ford

There are infinite ways (into our future) - Matsushita

Or how about this one by Edison, Genius is 1%inspiration and 99% perspiration.  I believe if there is no  imagination to benefit the people of the world, he would not have reached to such a statement.  So, I would say, if there is needs there are ways. No question! Such is the law of nature.  And, what is life if there is no spirit to explore to the unknown?  I see this is in our DNA as Living beings.

This applies to individual as well as the group of people who share the dream:

From P.234 New Shop Floor Management (by Kiyoshi Suzaki)

In my book, New Shop Floor Management, I brought a new way of  managing the shop floor and to develop an integrated, coherent process of management throughout the company - with the idea I called; "min-company" (aiming for self-management).  As this name suggests, in mini-company, everyone is seen as the president of his area of responsibility.  Actually, whether managing the company or managing one's personal life, the process is essentially the same.  One can apply the idea even to relationship, hobby, health, etc. It is the vision toward that imagination that matters.  Then, we can figure our way to achieve that dream.

"If you want to build a ship, don't gather your people and ask them to provide wood, prepare tools, assign tasks, ... Just call them together and raise in their minds the longing for the endless sea." 

- Antoine de Saint Exupéry  (p.13, NSFM)

SAILING IN TODAY'S BUSINESS ENVIRONMENT (from p.16, NSFM)

Today's world is filled with change and uncertainty....In fact, changes happening in the business world may have a traumatic impact if they result in sudden layoffs or bankruptcy. If we are foresighted and prepared, however, these changes can provide increased opportunities for utilizing our potential. Instead of riding in stormy seas, we can alter our course and find a clear path through them...

"Even if we cannot change the direction of wind, we can trim our sails to get where we want to go." [We are] to prepare ourselves for such turbulent times by developing skills to manage the situation better and explore a better work life.

Meeting with Mr. Ohno (Known as the Father of Toyota Production System (TPS))

In one meeting with Mr. Ohno, we walked around the shop floor, and discussed various points related to TPS - now a renowned system or I should say philosophy, recognized by the whole world.  To end our meeting that day, he gave me two calligraphy, using a traditional Japanese ink brush.  One of them read, "Challenge." The other, "Beyond conventional belief."  To this, I thanked and mentioned, that I like these as I like Don Quiote's spirit of reaching the unreachable star.  Mr. Ohno immediately pointed, "But you have to bring out the result."  I will never forget this meeting with Ohno.

Everything comes from that...

What I found fascinating is the same basic "principle" applies in psychology/hypnosis/therapy, Shop floor management/Lean/Toyota Production System, mini-company/master of destiny/creativity, brain development/biology, quantum physics/meditation, human relationship, path of spirituality/Way, and of course New Hero's Journey.


What I mean is the following symptom exists in all of those above:
- Attention to detail (concept often create barriers to see what is actually going on)
- Continuous improvement (Once the insight is gained, energy may build up for further advancement)
- Awareness and response (Quantum physics; observer is the observed)
- Small gets big, as energy flows, and life expresses itself on its own, given the setting - as a tree grows (everything is an expression of energy, dead or alive)
- Calm and quiet mind (awareness and equanimity) is the base/key (what is behind/unseen is compassion/love/absolute)

And what does that mean?

Saint-Exupéry says in Little Prince:

 "One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes. . ."

By the way, in 1939, Saint-Exupéry wrote, “Don’t you understand that somewhere along the way we have gone astray? . . . we lack something essential, which we find it difficult to describe. We feel less human; somewhere we have lost our mysterious prerogatives.” 



What is then the essence of such a principle (Law of universe, dhamma/dharma)?
I believe that is LIFE or Heart being the primary and us humans are to see it functioning in whatever we do, and be able to guide our action along with such path/law.  This is insight/wisdom all supported by Compassion - love of God (if I use that word).   Of course this is incomprehensible to the brain!  And there we find the human tragedy and all variations of the drama.


So as human, we come out of that source/primary (eating apple and chased out of the garden of Eden) yet to redirect us (through the eye of needle or gateless gate) to be connected to that, and express whatever makes sense according to the law (insight) and witness the marvel all in and around us with appreciation that we are one, connected with that.


In Zen, the expression pointing to this is:
All laws go back to one. (i.e., the principle, law)
Where does that one go?
A cloth weighing few pounds (Back to the manifested world; appreciate what we have such as warm cloth)


==


References (out of many):
- Milton Erickson* p198, 202 (relates to therapy/hypnosis) "My voice will go with you"
- My dialogue with Ohno of Toyota (known as Father of Toyota Production System)
- Experiences from Zen, vipassana meditation, etc.
- Three of my books (New Manufacturing Challenge, New shop floor management, Results from the Heart)


*  Erickson says: "Speak in the patient's language" "Join the patient" whereas I have said,"Speak the language of shop floor/customer" "Understand their world (for anyone to be effective to communicate - from the heart"  This is the same as, "become one with the problem" to go beyond the impasse, any insurmountable problem in life.  (Koan in Zen)

New Hero's Dream - how it is formed

While I was in New Zealand few months ago during my annual trip, I had a conversation with PJ, a forest farmer age 83, who is fighting against a prostate cancer.  Putting the cancer on the side with his typical joke, and as we cherish our time together, we go through endless discussion covering from A to Z.  One day, I decided to record our conversation tied to New Hero's Journey.  Here is the 16 min. youtube video of our conversation re: new hero's dream.



A talk with PJ, a forest farmer in New Zealand re: Dream, (16 min.)
(Please forgive me for this rather long video. He has a cancer and this could be his only video on the web)

Having lived more than 3/4 of life, we share the moment of beauty in nature, friendship, and appreciation of life to the fullest. Also, we have some opinion of the dream, contrasting to the situation we find in today's world.  PJ comments in this video that every morning at the bus stop, he sees boys lowering their head as if nothing exciting is to be expected at school as they wait for a school bus.

We think, the culture of instant gratification from internet, texting, video games, etc. may be overshadowing the life of these kids not recognizing the sweet smell the roses, or dream about the foreign land for a journey to go over unknown hurdles on the way.

Where is the passion?  What is the dream?  Where we find the source of energy?  Where do we find the source of new inspiring idea that we can be passionate about?  Viktor Frankl, a survivor from the Nazi's concentration camp, points the importance of having a dream.  How can we not to lose the dream of life?

In this video, we share our role model may be quite important to create such a dream in the heart of the young kids (if not adults).  As I remember, Picasso's father was a painter.  OK, we are not to compare us with Picasso.... so we may think.... But is it really so?  We do not need to put a lower ceiling for our growth, do we?

I started surfing at age 58 and I could surf on the long board at Malibu doing hang ten three years after I started.  No matter what our interest may be, I wish we do not limit us from doing our best - never.  PJ is fighting against cancer.  His farm is a tree farm.  He planted redwood tree from California when he started the farming at his 1000 acre farm some 30- 40 years ago.  Now, they are forming a big red wood forest.  Just last year, he planted many 3-foot trees at the lower section of the farm. They are protected by chicken wire from the deer - each one of them.  His new dream will be materializss in another 30-40 years.  (Hope you enjoy the video of him in green sweater with 15 holes in it.  I love the guy!)

NHJ - The Beginning

To start a new hero's journey, I explained my view on youtube.  The best way to get the message is to see me speaking on youtube together with the following quotes as reference.

New Hero's Journey - The Beginning

In short, I see NHJ (New Hero's Journey) a journey of exploration and finding our destiny while utilizing our talent and potential fully.  Yet, the process may be similar to a camel going through the eye of a needle, especially most of us carrying some fixed mindset developed over years of living our life.  Even though they may have been developed for necessity, if we are not "liberated" from the past, they may limit us from exploring the world fully. Such is the challenge for us and therefore, the term, New Hero to go beyond these hurdles.

Going over the hurdles:

- The path of enlightenment is a path covered by thorn bushes (Daisetz)

-  It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God! (Mark 10:25)

By the way, I am not the guru, or teacher in this journey.  Those interested in this journey are all co-travelers of life.  My hope is to share views and ideas as we move on, perhaps we may share your story for everybody's benefit.  What is required to launch this journey is: willingness and passion like a longing of the endless sea - our life.

In order to prepare us at this starting point, I would like to share some more quotes.  Many of them may look puzzling, paradoxical or even conflicting.  Yet, as I see it, it is a part of this road less traveled.  In zen saying, this is a gateless gate.  But we do not need to be fearful, annoyed, or puzzled for such word now.  We are to move step at a time and confirm many basics as we remain curious, open, willing and even passionate about what is going on in our life.  There are many expressions that may guide us.

On Beginner's mind:

- A child's mind is a rather open thing.  Adults tend to restrict themselves... Adults have closed minds.  They think they are watching everything.  They aren't watching.  They have got a routine way of looking. (Erickson, p.181)

-  It takes a long time to become young. (Picasso)

Be the master of your own destiny:

-  There is no teacher, the job has to be done by each person

-  We hear but we do not hear.  We see but we do not see.

-  Everyone wants to understand art.  Why not try to understand the song of a bird? (Picasso)

-  When the student is ready, teacher will appear (Sufi, Zen, also Erickson p.113)

-  Everything is a teacher (Yoshikawa)

-  Meet Buddha, kill Buddha! (zen saying)

-  It is the patient who does the therapy (Erickson p.106)

We find our own solution:

-  You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink (Proverb)

-  In the water, they cry for water. (Hakuin)

-  Gateless gate (Zen)

-  You cannot sleep?  Good. (Carry on.) (Goenka on meditation)

-  If you search for it, you will not find it (Yuima)

-  I do not search, I find (Picasso)

Find the answer in the middle of problem:

- In the middle of the delusion, find nirvana (Syoshinge)

- Training and enlightenment is one (Shysyouichinyo)

... and those above may point the character of this new hero's journey!  We are here to explore the meaning in our own life's experiences.

Welcome to the new beginning!