Showing posts with label my spiritual experience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my spiritual experience. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Meaning of Spiritual Experience: Buddha and Tao Te Ching


In the last post, I commented that the resolution of difference in men and women was to be found in true love/compassion. Or for that matter. it is as if any difference as our mind distinguishes A and B (Yin and Yang: dualism; as well as ego's fight for its existence), is to be resolved in oneness- connection with the source at the core of our existence, i.e., true love, or nature's way, Tao, whatever you call IT. When this is realized, our mind ceases its futile effort to solve problem it has created by itself as if in a vacuum. This is awakening, or insight/wisdom, as well as compassion to release any pain and suffering mind creates.  This is beyond the realm of human mind/logic.

So, with regard to limbic system or karma, our fixed mindset, or habitual way of looking at the world, there is no end to the search for solution if it is in the realm of our mind. --- unless, we transcend mind. That is from being caught up in the logic, which is the search for solution through mind's own logic, but as if to see us from the source, be one with the source, or Tao, the Way, way of nature, absolute, or whatever way we call IT. (This search was the process of Buddha's way of enlightenment - as I see it. Also, this process is discussed in the post on Tolle's spiritual experience compared to mine)


Here is my translation from Daisetz Suzuki's book, re: Buddha's  Enlightenment:

When searching for the truth, typically, we start from philosophy. Then, we notice what wise guys said on this subject in the past, noticing that this difficult problem is also what made them wondered or suffered. Buddha did this as well. But this did not help him. By its own nature, philosophy cannot put us back to where before the questions were yet raised. It is the limit of philosophy. It may give a faint view of existence. But most likely, as we try to reach closer, it will fade away. So, Buddha eventually left these people.

Next, he attempted a hard training. For some reason, we generally think that if we restrain our desire from our body, our mind will be cleansed and can see the truth as it is. Yet, such restraining of desire will see self, the one that ask the question of truth, more like an enemy. Then, this enemy is seen as something to conquer, or overcome. And this enemy stands always at where the man having question. No matter how hard this questioner tries his best to defeat the enemy with his all might, the enemy will not be conquered. So far as the self, the questioner, exists, he will create new enemy and have to fight continuously. 

Defeating the enemy does not mean saving our self nor answering the question. This is because self can only exist by having non-self, and this non-self is the enemy. The self is the creator of enemy. The questioner will be a questioner no matter how far he goes. He remains to be the creator of questions.

In the hard training, the questioner is the self. There, the self is confronted to non-self, i.e., enemy. This enemy has to be defeated no matter what. Yet, so far as we have self, there is no way this enemy is defeated. Self cannot exist by itself.  It always try to express the self, prove the power, and desires to have someone to prove that he is that important existence. When self find that there is no others to prove, or to be proud of itself, it loses its self-nature. Restraining one’s own nature is a way of expressing its own self.

One cannot go beyond its own self through restraining one’s desire or to follow the moral disciplines. Unless we go beyond the self, however, we will not find the opportunity to solve the problems that is related to searching our existence. Our self has to be thrown out totally. There should be no trace of conflict between self and non-self.

Buddha realized this point from his own experiences. One day, he tried to raise from sitting but he could not. As he did not have enough food to eat, he was weakened to the point where he could not sustain himself. …. He then thought, "If he who has the question has to die now, he will leave the question unresolved and die." So, in order to search this major problem that encompasses everything, he started to eat and attempted to recover his health and energy.



But, how can he move forward from there? Intellect did not bring solution. Hard training did not help much. He had nothing to do. Yet, he wished to resolve the problem much more than before. If his mind was smaller, and weakened, it may have been crushed under the heavy pressure of this problem.  Being cornered to its extreme, his whole existence responded. He now felt that there was no more questions to ask, and there is no self to fight against the enemy. His self, his intellect, his whole existence was thrown into the question. In other words, he became the question itself. The distinction between questioner and the question, self and non-self, is vanished and one undivided "unknown" was left. In this "unknown,’ he was absorbed.

If we picture the scene in our mind, there was no Buddha left to ask questions, no self to realize the ego, and there was no question responding to the intellect that threatens his existence. There was no sky above his head nor no ground under his feet. If we could stand besides Buddha at that time and be able to look into his existence, what we may have found there would be a big question mark that covers the whole universe. If he had any mind, if we could say so, such was the state of his mind. He was there in such a state for a while. And.. when he looked up the sky, he saw the Venus in the early morning sky. The light of the star went straight into his eyes. This event brought his whole consciousness back to the previous/normal state. There was no question that was so strong, so persistent and caused him suffering left anymore. There was a whole world shining under a new light with new meaning.

(Note: See: http://web.archive.org/web/20030814014304/http://suzaki.has.it/ under the file name: Daisetz Remembered   Also Note: Daisetz Suzuki(1870-1966) dedicated his entire life to practice Buddhism/Zen and share its essence in his own way with the world.)

==

Of course, this is an explanation of Buddha's enlightenment by Daisetz.  Yet, as explained before, I can see what is described here is linked to the process that took place in Tolle (and if I may say so... in myself as well as in Daisetz).  However, I say this; the practice in daily living is not that simple as indicated in the previous post, which means I am yet to clean up my karma, the past conditioning as I move on in my journey.

As mentioned, I went through years of check and balance re: my spiritual experience as Tolle did.  Having done that (as posted in my English and Japanese homepage from 2000 to 2012), I found so amusing and encouraging that many of those who went through this path point to the same "Experience" / "Understanding" without doubt.  

As an example, when you read, Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu - chapter 16, you should, if not now, eventually come to see/experience that the words may look different, yet, the core message is the same:

Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest at peace.
The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the source.
Returning to the source is stillness, which is the way of nature.
The way of nature is unchanging.
Knowing constancy is insight.
Not knowing constancy leads to disaster.
Knowing constancy, the mind is open.
With an open mind, you will be openhearted.
Being openhearted, you will act royally.
Being royal, you will attain the divine.
Being divine, you will be at one with the Tao.
Being at one with the Tao is eternal.
And though the body dies, the Tao will never pass away.

==

Ikkyu, a Zen monk and a poet, said, 

Many paths lead from
The foot of the mountain
But at the peak
We all gaze at the
Single bright moon



Thursday, May 24, 2012

Meaning of Spiritual Experiences: Eckhart Tolle vs Mine

Just recently, I found the video re: Spiritual experience and teaching of Eckhart Tolle (2004). I have read his books, and saw various videos before.  Yet this 7-part video was very informative especially tied to my similar experience that happened in 2000 and my journey that followed since then.  FYI, here are excerpts of the interview on his experiences with my comments:





Part 1:  His awakening experience - 29 yrs old (video length: 10 min.)

-  It was his 29 yrs old when the major shift happened - He was in state of fear till then
-  "I cannot live myself any longer" - "I" and "myself": is there two or one?  (like Zen Koan)
-  There was no answer in intellectual level - This triggered inner shift
-  I was drawn into voltex of energy
-  "Resist nothing" (I heard the inner voice) - so I gave up.. and I went into nothingness
-  Next morning, everything looked as if seeing them the first time
-  There was "aliveness and peace" - but did not know why

* Like Tolle, I had a similar experience and the journey that followed since the event in 2000.  At the time, I was suffering in worst physical pain (on the 8th day of my 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat).  In the middle of pain, I questioned to myself; "Is this so because I am trying to escape the pain?"  Similar to Tolle's noticing two identities, "I" looked at "myself" having a pain.  As Tolle said, "I" and "myself": is there two or one?, was the last thought, it was the last thought.  Then, I also experienced the massive voltex of energy.  I was a twirl of billions of blight light particles.  I was like plasma myself.  In the report I wrote about this experience, I also said it was like having sex with the universe.  After the experience which lasted perhaps 7~8 min up to 20 min, I felt my body was lifted from the burden I carried in life, and noticed a genuine smile on my face.

As Tolle did in the following years, I also studied the meaning of this experience through various scriptures, and sayings of spiritual teachers very carefully.  The whole intensive investigation is posted in my homepage ( in English till ~2003 and  in Japanese  from 2003)  Out of many findings and confirmation I went through, here is one finding that points to my experience of me and the universe become one as if having sex.  As Tolle mentioned, it was that aliveness that I connected since then.  (Borrowing Tolle's term, the experience I had was to see "me" (ego) trying to resist the pain as having no reality.)

Part 2
-  There was inner peace as background to all experiences, sense perceptions,
even background to my thinking, that they never left me again (This is similar to my feeling of what I call, "Mirror mind" (see the file under the same title in my Japanese Home Page - sorry, written in Japanese)!  Different from Tolle, however, such state went away every now and then although I can get back to that state at moment notice.

-  It took long time to understand and put it into words; started to check with
spiritual teachings, e.g., Buddhism, Christianity ,etc.
-  I could see the truth hiding behind cultural.. interepretations etc. They shed light to what happened to me
(I did the same - taking about 8-10 years to totally convinced.  Yet this is a journey still.)
- For example. "Peace not related to external world"
- "Zen is not about thinking"
- I had peace as I was not thinking much any more
- Useless continuous noise, or thinking, came to an end
(In my case, there are noises/delusions popping up every now and then, but I can see the end/resolution of it fairly soon, e.g., minute to hours, usually)
-  I could still use thinking when I need it
(In my book Results from the Heart, I wrote; "Use the brain,listen to the heart, live with the mission.")
-  Long stretch of no thought was wonderful inner peace
-  Realized that inner peace was there before but was covered up (3.16)
-  Then this became the spiritual teaching
-  People have within themselves what they are looking for outside
(This corresponds to :"If you seek for it, you will not find it." - Yuima sutra)
(Or, as my experience proves it, I can say this way, "If you try to avoid it (e.g., in this case suffering, not enlightenment/realization), you cannot.")
-  [The answer] comes only when there is inner alignment with now, or LIFE itself (6.15)
(This is the primary I mentioned before, i.e., the connection to the heart)


Here are my brief summary: On my spiritual experience:
-  Past Karma may not dissapear easily (It took years to accumulate)
-  Being in present will expose problems and staying there will bring insight (e.g., eliminate delusion/suffering)
-  Illusionary nature of self/ego cannot be recognized by thinking.  (It is to be recognized by, say, the third eye, or awakened mind's eye)
-  Continuous practice of this will eradicate many problems in life
-  There are infinite ways to move on with our life (thus, be liberated)
-  From the beginning to the end, the nature (the law, or God if you like) will always take care of itself

How may we proceed in life? (Again, my summary):
-  We need to have (psychological) "condition" for the breakthrough to take place.
-  Pain/suffering (physical or mental) is a good teacher (so far as we can see through it - by observing what is really happening)
-  Being in presence, we live in this dualistic world - with mirror mind (This is to transcend the paradox of me and ME)
-  We can appreciate life, this existence because of the fact that we are human who can transcend the suffering.
-  Be conscious of unconscious.  (Yes, we can.  Why?  Because we came from there and we are there when awakened.  Fortunate or unfortunate, this paradox is to be transcended.  Intellect alone cannot do the job.)

Note: It was told that Tolle reduced mental activity by 80% after that experience.  In my case, the answer is, it depends...  I think when it is needed especially in writing but I am often in the state of non-thinking/trans-like.  Yet, sad memories and desire pops up and I go through cleaning these taking seconds, to hours sometimes, perhaps.  Bottom line, I cannot say:  Useless continuous noise, or thinking, came to an end as he did.  But I am not unhappy about it as "I" know the way out - by practicing silent observation of what is going on with the calm and quiet mind - I call it mirror mind.