Living Truthfully - Relationship with a Woman

Living truthfully...  We can only work toward that.  We are humans and may make mistake any moment.  We may not have the full perspective of the situation; we cannot predict the unknown future; we may not even know who we really are especially when ego is in play.  Impermanence is everywhere, everything is in transition, we ourselves are in transition going through new experiences externally and internally.  Yet, we can work toward that aim, living truthfully, as if to adjust the sail given the situation and find the path of truth in life.  This is an eternal quest while we may still enjoy the moment by connecting to the Heart, being in the presence and happy along the way.

It is ideal if we know our-self and the situation well and be able to find a path with insight based on our calm and quiet mind.  A case in point, here is a case of a man dating a woman, which brought forth some challenging situation - an example of how to live truthfully.  She was a single parent mother taking care of her teenager, going through severe financially difficulty, yet very compassionate to the people around her to the detriment of not looking after herself.  Hence, she ended up in doing so many things, yet, carried on her life even if the situation was hard physically, mentally and financially.   He got involved with her - odd enough so different from his previous relationship.  He was attracted by her genuinely compassionate character.

I wonder where these seeds may land, and...?

At the beginning of their relationship, he wanted to confirm what he thought might be the base of the relationship, i.e., true love (Primary relationship).  It is to live from the heart, which is essentially the same as living truthfully.  (For reference, see the poem, True Love, posted in Art, Life and True Love.)  As they became close, he found more about the difficulty she faced in life.  For example, while they tried to make time for themselves, it often resulted in interruption caused by work, family, friends, etc.  As single parent, she needed to attend the various requests of others. Eventually, he felt as if he was at the end of the list.  Their time together became less and more interrupted as various concerns mounted.

The situation became so chaotic such that he thought they could not maintain their relationship no matter how he tried to accommodate to meet her needs.  He often felt he was in the middle of the storm.  Here is a series of his writings that might point how he was going through this relationship, facing the unknown nature of circumstance internally and externally, yet to live truthfully the best he could.

* E-mail to her at 8AM

Two leaves on the Ocean

We are like two leaves met on the surface of the vast ocean...

wind, current, etc., thing can go this way or that way...

nothing is certain

Yet, we know where we are, and can still be like children

playing with imagination, exploring with innocent mind

appreciating time and space we happen to have

drifting on the ocean of love in this immense space...

not knowing what may happen in the next moment

yet we do what we can, and leave the rest to the divine,

that is our life, and our destiny

simply smile, do our best and move on!

it is the new hero's journey!

*  Following day, E-mail to her at 5AM

 (Rare to feel like this but sensing the danger of relationship, I shared my feeling)

I almost feel like getting a panic attack.  I am afraid that something may happen again on this Friday.... I cannot go back to sleep.

- He comes back with his friends and chaos takes over 

- Or, you pick him up, and drive back to home.  Then, take him to XYZ, only to go and pick him up again later

You are so busy and this is such a small thing ...like nothing.  But for me this is a sad reality.

I want to see you...especially as I feel closer to you again, but I am afraid, and am torn  - no where to go.

* to her at 7:30AM

I went out for a walk; it was misty...

The mountain tops were covered with low clouds 

I thought, there is a blue sky above these clouds

then, I thought if this was like the situation we are in

who knows even storm may come

yet, the sun is shining up in the sky - always

then, I wondered if we may be able to play like children

mindlessly...under the blue sky...someday...

* to her at 7:45AM

When children are told the cold fact of life

like their favorite toys are broken beyond repair,

they may openly cry for a long time...

parents may gently suggest that there is nothing they can do

Even the grown-ups fall into the similar situation

as we face the cold fact of life.

If we do our best and nothing more we can do...

accept what is, and just like children, let go...

The new morning will come, birds will sing

and the sun will shine in the blue sky some day.

So, put the smile back and twinkles in our eyes

just move on!

* from her at 3:30PM

Sometimes I don't want to hear words, but I just want to be held....

wish I could now.

* to her at 4:30PM

I am full of life energy...

Just a while ago, I was feeling "IT" even from flowers, and leaves..

I want to share such experience with you - as always have

as if to confirm our base 

That is the ultimate human experience I can think of...

no self, but covered by the mist of love

It is there, you know... if we let it reveal by itself...

and to me, Love is just a word to point to such a genuine state of our being

It is always there...

Always.


==


The above memo may portray the situation where they do their best to navigate the hardship in life no matter what the end result may be.  The memo started with the awareness of the situation they happen to be in (poem, 'two leaves in the ocean'). Then, he posted the fear of facing the unknown, followed by re-assessing the situation (analogy of 'clouds and the sun above') and reflecting with the story of children facing the inevitable's.  It may take some time to settle down and reorient.  Yet, at the end, they may realize that their life energy/true self will find ways to express itself, and lead the way - as they live truthfully.  

Symphony of Light - Joy of Life (Poem)

Here are some more of my poems from about ten years ago.  I found this in my old English home page (Net archive) where I posted Kabir's poem - my favorite one.

Symphony of Light

As if listening to the sound from afar.. 

There is a transparent state beyond the time-space dimension

where the whole nerve system

and all cells of body fully activate.

To the end of the universe,

and inside the mitochondria or DNA

of all cells

everyone enjoys the liberation.

As each performs the given role

and help with each other with no conflict,

there is the most natural state

of life expressing itself.

Without thinking of truth, enlightenment,

defilements or else,

Everyone dances

the dance of the universe.

Yes, by utilizing our whole senses as an artist

Letfs throw our whole existence into the ocean of this universeI

And covered by the spray of the universe over our whole body,

let us play the symphony of light!

It is as it is

As I listen to the stereo..
My body moves on its own
Covered by the vibration,
All cells of my body share the happiness.
My mind is transparent
while the whole world vibratesin happiness.
Yes, Right, in such a way
As birds sing,
Everyone dances.
The tribe men from Amazon,and those in Africa.
People may comment to see me being like this,"He must be demented!"
But, it's OK.
It is because I found the answer
to that question of "So what?"
It is simply
everything is as it is.

A Life in Resonance with Dhamma

As if a butterfly shows up from somewhere when flowers start to bloom,

when birds sing their song, I find my body covered with Dhamma Piti*.

Yes, there is something here to point that

the wisdom of nature is unfathomable.

As much as women putting a make-up to become attractive,

or anyone trying to win the sports game or win in philosophical debate,

or being attracted to make money or to become famous,

there is something similar in all of these orientations.

That is the sense of oneness that everyone seeks for,

to find at the core of us the pleasure of resonating with the infinite.

The same is true for sex, isnft it?  To grasp that moment to discover the infinite,

we want to have our body and mind melted in the ecstasy.

Then, we find the comedies and tragedies performed all around.

So, stop now and ask what is really going on!

What if we do not know that

seeking for happiness iscnot finding one?

 How sad it is to search for IT afarcIt is like in the middle of waterc

yet crying out in thirst,h so Hakuin said.

But look!  I hear the sound of wind chimec  chirping of the birds c.

And, the guitar of Segovia continuing while the cool breeze passes through the room.

Without seeking, but realizing whatfs going onc

what if we live with the sharpened senses

at all of our mind-body cells and DNAs,

and discover the vibration of the universe?

* Piti: emotion of joy, delight, zest, exuberance

(7/15/03)

(Courtesy: Debmalya Mukherjee)

A Joy of Life

For no reason, but perhaps a sound may trigger it.

Perhaps a butterfly in the air,

The innocent flower in the sunc

Perhaps, Segoviafs guitar..

These bring joy to me, with reason but no apparent reason.

It is a joy of life

For the life to experience life as it is.

I feel all through my bodyc

From the top of my head to the bottom of my solec

And throughout my whole body.

Covered by the shivering sense,

All cells of my body breathe the breath of universe

Interconnected with each other

to the end of the universe,

vibrating and expressing as they are meant.

With tears, I remember someone once said,

This world is nirvana as it is.

Whatever that may mean,

It is my cells that know it,

And expressing what it is as it is.

So, may I say simply; have a good day, and a good life!

(7/11/03)

Art, Life and True Love

Here is an e-mail correspondence with my Aikido friend - first about Art and then what I call "True love," or primary relationship, the connection I discussed in the previous post:

==
(From Laura)

I have been sculpting for 2or 3 years now.
Well, aikido is a martial ART, is it not? A movement art.
So what does being artful mean? To me it means staying in the
moment and allowing  your experience of subtle dimensions to take shape in physical form.
To describe peace or beauty in form or action. To act from the void, see how it comes through you.
A lot of people call personal expression art, describing neurosis (Throwing up on a canvas)
and expecting the viewer to appreciate you for your creativity!! I don't call that art. Art is to teach!
To have the viewer (or experiencer) appreciate something beyond himself.
So aikido is a movement art. We try to stay centered and open to peace coming through KI
(energy) and guiding our actions, so that the viewer or partner, is changed by joining with you in the interaction.
Form follows energy which follows thought. The creation of anything comes from the idea or vision forming
the blueprint for the next denser dimension of energy (behavior,action, ki) to move and the densest form
rides or takes the shape of the action.

Here is another movement art I am involved in. You're going to laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34CivLRIbpo

==

Well.. if so,,,, we can say that our life is itself an art, right?  Of
course!! You will agree!!!!

Yet, may I hear your view on LIFE if I may?

==
(From Laura)

Oh boy! Don't get me started!  Of course life is an artistic event.
I am the medium. WHO IS THE ARTIST?

I don't have time for writing poetry. I play cello and garden also.
I told E that, If I beg for cooking lessons, to tell me NO.

I do love poetry. My favorite poet is Rumi:

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened.
Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down 
a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth.



I would love to kiss you.
The price of kissing is your life!
Now my love is running toward my life shouting,
What a bargain, let's buy it!


May I hear some of your poetry?

An Image of Art, Life, and True Love - i.e., New Hero's Journey

Oh Luara...Don't get me started....

I wrote many... but before that,  let me tell you my most favorite of all, Kabir - 17

http://www.oocities.org/capecanaveral/campus/4178/kabir17.html

and well....Here is one I wrote re: True Love

True Love

True love is unconditional

and accept everything as is

While in meditation, I re-discovered this unconditional love

and re-witnessed its miracle

When I meditate

simply observing what is going on...

there is that sensation in me that responds to my observation

Everywhere I observe, my body cells are happily jumping right then and there...

as if given an encouragement to play like children...

they are genuinely happy as they are

This is a joy of being touched by love... true love...

at the molecular levels, yet it extends to the end of the universe

In that sensation, I realize...

love is found and realized in total acceptance of what is happening

but, not like we may think of love...

as in the conventional manner

As we accept everything as it is and we are in tune with it...

everywhere, and unconditionally, love is prevailing

because it is simply a happening of absolute

Thy will be done.

We witness this as we meditate...

or whenever our mind is still

That sensation/power is universal

you, me and everyone, everywhere

When we witness that happening...

we realize that we are the Life itself –  fully alive!

and True Love is also realized...

as the foundation of life

With its compassionate and creative energy...

love heals everything, and create anew

Being one with Love

we realize that there is no single error in us

Floating in the swell of love,

we witness all sufferings and scars disappear!

In that sweet power of love,

nothing can resist but to surrender

And, as we surrender to love,

Love takes over

Ego is broken,

and the burdens we have carried explodes into a mist of speckles...

We see everything is connected, and melt into one, the absolute unity...

No duality, no good/bad, right/wrong, you/me, any more

Why?

Because it is as it is when love/absolute prevails as it should

How ridiculous, the mind may speak...

but, in that intimacy, such voice has no place to be!

So, you, me, the lucky ones...

simply float in that infinite swell of love, and witness the magic

being played out

Enjoy the taste of nectar called love

heal all the wounds, and be reborn as this magic takes over

--

When we realize True Love

All words lose their meaning, yet there is nothing missing any more!

After the healing and rebirth...

there is continued healing and rebirth...

--

Note: So, within what we think is love (called here as bilateral/horizontal

connection) is this True Love ready to emanate when the connection is

made in each individual.  Once, this is found, tested, and confirmed,

the sparks generated there may be found as most genuine - incomparable

to none.

This is the world of nirvana realized in the awakening of true love.

Yet, since we are as we are as humans, dusts accumulate and the

connection to the source may be weakened or lost.  So, the travelers

of life, be aware, find the right path, confirm the foundation, and

let True Love prevail!

==

(Note on Aikido terms:

-  uke: attacker with aggression

-  nage: one responding with aiki (do) - way of nature to harmonize all... with compassion)

==

Oh well done!

I should say well carried through, right?

I understand the difference between human love and divine love to be the absence or presence of a sense of separation from home.

Divine love being unity with the void, knowing where home is so securely that it overflows

in gratitude and love of life. Human love being a desperate grasping to be loved from another

because we feel separate from our source.Thus the human drama, the source of most of the

stories and movies and songs in pop culture.

The way we move and interact on the aikido mat is a moving meditation.

Since we are always filled with love, abundance and possibility, when we move in an

open full manner, every cell expressing confidence, higher power, KI, it feels like FLOATING..

When, as nage, we doubt the presence of ki, we squeeze for personal power, using our upper body and arms to manipulate uke.  When uke is treated like this, he has to defend himself with his own personal power, it ignites a fight. When the KI inside nage touches the KI inside uke, there is no separation. Only a sense of freedom.

Oh! Something natural is happening! It awakens uke to the source of power present throughout his whole body.

We're teaching as we touch and interact. Life long study! Same in any true art. Is there anything better to do in life?

                                        Your friend,

                                                 Laura