Living Truthfully - Relationship with a Woman

Living truthfully...  We can only work toward that.  We are humans and may make mistake any moment.  We may not have the full perspective of the situation; we cannot predict the unknown future; we may not even know who we really are especially when ego is in play.  Impermanence is everywhere, everything is in transition, we ourselves are in transition going through new experiences externally and internally.  Yet, we can work toward that aim, living truthfully, as if to adjust the sail given the situation and find the path of truth in life.  This is an eternal quest while we may still enjoy the moment by connecting to the Heart, being in the presence and happy along the way.

It is ideal if we know our-self and the situation well and be able to find a path with insight based on our calm and quiet mind.  A case in point, here is a case of a man dating a woman, which brought forth some challenging situation - an example of how to live truthfully.  She was a single parent mother taking care of her teenager, going through severe financially difficulty, yet very compassionate to the people around her to the detriment of not looking after herself.  Hence, she ended up in doing so many things, yet, carried on her life even if the situation was hard physically, mentally and financially.   He got involved with her - odd enough so different from his previous relationship.  He was attracted by her genuinely compassionate character.

I wonder where these seeds may land, and...?

At the beginning of their relationship, he wanted to confirm what he thought might be the base of the relationship, i.e., true love (Primary relationship).  It is to live from the heart, which is essentially the same as living truthfully.  (For reference, see the poem, True Love, posted in Art, Life and True Love.)  As they became close, he found more about the difficulty she faced in life.  For example, while they tried to make time for themselves, it often resulted in interruption caused by work, family, friends, etc.  As single parent, she needed to attend the various requests of others. Eventually, he felt as if he was at the end of the list.  Their time together became less and more interrupted as various concerns mounted.

The situation became so chaotic such that he thought they could not maintain their relationship no matter how he tried to accommodate to meet her needs.  He often felt he was in the middle of the storm.  Here is a series of his writings that might point how he was going through this relationship, facing the unknown nature of circumstance internally and externally, yet to live truthfully the best he could.

* E-mail to her at 8AM

Two leaves on the Ocean

We are like two leaves met on the surface of the vast ocean...

wind, current, etc., thing can go this way or that way...

nothing is certain

Yet, we know where we are, and can still be like children

playing with imagination, exploring with innocent mind

appreciating time and space we happen to have

drifting on the ocean of love in this immense space...

not knowing what may happen in the next moment

yet we do what we can, and leave the rest to the divine,

that is our life, and our destiny

simply smile, do our best and move on!

it is the new hero's journey!

*  Following day, E-mail to her at 5AM

 (Rare to feel like this but sensing the danger of relationship, I shared my feeling)

I almost feel like getting a panic attack.  I am afraid that something may happen again on this Friday.... I cannot go back to sleep.

- He comes back with his friends and chaos takes over 

- Or, you pick him up, and drive back to home.  Then, take him to XYZ, only to go and pick him up again later

You are so busy and this is such a small thing ...like nothing.  But for me this is a sad reality.

I want to see you...especially as I feel closer to you again, but I am afraid, and am torn  - no where to go.

* to her at 7:30AM

I went out for a walk; it was misty...

The mountain tops were covered with low clouds 

I thought, there is a blue sky above these clouds

then, I thought if this was like the situation we are in

who knows even storm may come

yet, the sun is shining up in the sky - always

then, I wondered if we may be able to play like children

mindlessly...under the blue sky...someday...

* to her at 7:45AM

When children are told the cold fact of life

like their favorite toys are broken beyond repair,

they may openly cry for a long time...

parents may gently suggest that there is nothing they can do

Even the grown-ups fall into the similar situation

as we face the cold fact of life.

If we do our best and nothing more we can do...

accept what is, and just like children, let go...

The new morning will come, birds will sing

and the sun will shine in the blue sky some day.

So, put the smile back and twinkles in our eyes

just move on!

* from her at 3:30PM

Sometimes I don't want to hear words, but I just want to be held....

wish I could now.

* to her at 4:30PM

I am full of life energy...

Just a while ago, I was feeling "IT" even from flowers, and leaves..

I want to share such experience with you - as always have

as if to confirm our base 

That is the ultimate human experience I can think of...

no self, but covered by the mist of love

It is there, you know... if we let it reveal by itself...

and to me, Love is just a word to point to such a genuine state of our being

It is always there...

Always.


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The above memo may portray the situation where they do their best to navigate the hardship in life no matter what the end result may be.  The memo started with the awareness of the situation they happen to be in (poem, 'two leaves in the ocean'). Then, he posted the fear of facing the unknown, followed by re-assessing the situation (analogy of 'clouds and the sun above') and reflecting with the story of children facing the inevitable's.  It may take some time to settle down and reorient.  Yet, at the end, they may realize that their life energy/true self will find ways to express itself, and lead the way - as they live truthfully.